In the flow of gratitude
In a few days, it will be 3 months since I had emergency surgery to have a complete colectomy due to a crohn's/ulcerative colitis (still unclear of my official diagnosis) flare. In the following month, I was hospitalized 3 more times and had a second surgery to remove 6 inches of my small intestine. I experienced the truest “Dark Night of the Soul” experience I have ever had. And trust me, I have had a few of these experiences.
I have come out of this situation determined to live my best life ever. I have connected with some amazing healers and Angel’s in the past 3 months. I have picked up a very strong meditation and gratitude practice. I literally live my life fully in gratitude. Having nearly died, my appreciation for each day is tremendous. More than I ever dreamed possible.
I have been on a spiritual path for nearly 15 years. It has “leveled up” quite a few times since. Some things that have deepened my spirituality were quitting drinking, dealing with 7 years of autoimmune disease, watching our beloved dog get hit by a train in front of our eyes, giving birth and becoming a mother. I have had meditation, journaling and gratitude practices for many years. However, this time I'm feeling like I'm understanding the importance and benefits of the practices on a deeper level. Having to face my life on the line has awakened me to a new and better way of living.
It has been a process. Right now I am taking a course gifted to me by my dear friend and Angel, Elaine O'Rourke -elaineorourke.com- that is specific for folks with IBD and Ostomies. This week's lesson…”Accepting Your New Body.” This has been very eye opening to how much I did NOT accept my body before. My body looks a LOT different now. It has at times been very difficult to look in the mirror. When I experience the judgments that go through my mind now, I am reminded that that is an old pattern of thought and I immediately come to gratitude for how my body looks now, and will look for the rest of my life. It is because of what my body looks like now that I am ALIVE and THRIVING!
I was told by another Angel friend, Angel Amy - myangelamy.com- that this is my Goddess rising! She explained that this experience is happening FOR me and not TO me. I feel this to be true in the core of my soul. I feel more connected to my Goddess energy than ever before. This week I start Angel Amy's Goddess Club. It is a 6 week serries that I know that I am meant to be a part of.
The gratitude I have for life is off the charts. My morning rituals include hot water with lemon upon waking, making my cold pressed juice for the day, making my big cup of Chaga tea, and then doing my morning Gratitude practice with my daughter, Sage before I turn my phone on or let in the outside world. It has evolved over the past few months. Thanks to Joe Dispenza meditations and his work, I know that it is beneficial to give thanks and gratitude for things that you want to bring in and manifest into your life, not just what you already have. It is important to invision the life you want, and to imagine that you are already living it. Our practice currently consists of one word gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for, and my gratitude board fills up very fast. I add words throughout the day as they come to mind, and often times I have been able to bring in what I have wrote instantly. As if by magic. The power of gratitude is no joke. I am grateful for giving gratitude!!
In 2 months time I have gotten back to my “normal weight.” I had dropped to 92 pounds at the time of my surgery. I am now back at 135. I practice a moving meditation nearly everyday consisting of squats, lunges and yoga at home and on the beaching, I am back to swimming in the ocean everyday, I am creating more recipes than ever and making the most delicious, nutritious and nourishing foods, my relationships with others and most importantly myself are flourishing. I am getting back into the game of life in the best way possible.
I am beyond grateful for this life. It is filled with so much beauty. Blessings, Angel’s and guides are all around us when we open ourselves up to them.
I am eternally grateful for my family, friends, Angels and guides who continue to support my profound healing journey. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
My wish is to INSPIRE you to love your best life possible. You don't have to be facing death in the face to be able to change your life.
